just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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