So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
