I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
