SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
