Buhtt sex?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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