All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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