why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
