I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You smell like stripper and shame
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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