Me. At least after what I've been through.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
