There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
