She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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