You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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