Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.