come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.