I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.