god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
