Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
