Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
