Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
