You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
