Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize