so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
