the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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