So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize