so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
