How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
