How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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