just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
