I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
