My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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