We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
