Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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