think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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