did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem