32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...