There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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