yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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