Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
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May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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