Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize