theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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