We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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