i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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