dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
