I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
