I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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