My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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