idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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