you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
