I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you had me at cake vodka
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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