If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
