we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize