i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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