He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
