I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
