I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
