...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
wow bdsm is so cute
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
